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Lightning

Fri Dec 13, 2013 7:21 pm by queengoogoo

In the evening when the day is done
And no more is the light from the sun,
I look upon the stars Heaven high
And find gratefulness deep inside.
But then there are nights a storm rolls in,
And the twinkles disappear above the lightning.
The thunder accompanying the flash,
Lets me embrace the rain's splash.
These strikes pealing within the darkness
Makes me feel I have been blessed.
For there is …

[ Full reading ]

Comments: 1

Suggestions, Opinions?

Thu Mar 29, 2012 3:07 pm by cuthugas

Hey Everyone,

Just wanted to see if anyone has anything to say now that you've had a chance to use the forum a bit.

Is there anything you don't like? Something you would like to see changed? This site gives us a lot of flexbility to modify just about everything you see, so if you can't stand something, or have a suggestion on how something should look/work, let us know.

Comments: 0

New Forum Format

Fri Jan 07, 2011 12:46 am by Admin

Hello Everyone,

This is the new format for our WVW Writing Forum. The hope is that this will better facilitate the membership's need for interaction, and will also act as a centralized location for news and information about WVW upcoming events and news. Please feel free to start a conversation, ask for advice, or just voice your opinion about a topic. Please thoroughly read our rules and …

[ Full reading ]

Comments: 2


I am West Virginia

 :: Verse :: Poetry

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I am West Virginia

Post by shaleetoo on Thu Jun 21, 2012 12:05 am

Thanks for indulging me.



7:00pm Jun 20
I am looking for feedback, positive or negative, it all helps. Thank you!



I am West Virginia

I am the Kanawha, the Elk, the New River.
I am West Virginia.

I am the roaring white waters, the bubbling stream,
the winding creek.
I am West Virginia

I am Charleston, I am Chesapeake, I am Morgantown.
I am West Virginia.

I am the waitress, the bus driver, the coal miner.
I am West Virginia.

I am the Eagle guarding our Capitol, I am the Hawk gliding over Hawk’s Nest, I am the Blue Bird in the meadows of Dolly Sods.
I am West Virginia.

I am the hollows, the valleys and the mountains.
I am West Virginia.

I am tragedy and heartbreak, I am Blair Mountain, I am Matewan, I am Monongah, I am Sago.
I am West Virginia.

I am the strength, the hope and the resilience of all my people. I am proud, strong and true.

I am forever West Virginia.

- Sharon Kreiling
© December 2007

shaleetoo

Posts : 9
Join date : 2012-06-13

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Re: I am West Virginia

Post by writingdianet on Tue Jun 26, 2012 1:52 pm

Hey Sharon!

Diane Tarantini here. For what it's worth, I like your poem a lot. However, I do not have any training in poetry whatsoever. I do not know what to tell you as to whether it's "good" or "bad" as poetry goes.

Hope you get an expert opinion shortly.

writingdianet

Posts : 23
Join date : 2012-02-21

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Re: I am West Virginia

Post by shaleetoo on Thu Jul 05, 2012 9:13 pm

Thank you so much for taking the time to read it. I have gotten a few private messages and people do seem to like it. One published author said that he feels I am holding back. Not sure what to do about that.

shaleetoo

Posts : 9
Join date : 2012-06-13

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Re: I am West Virginia

Post by writingdianet on Sun Jul 08, 2012 1:35 pm

Hey Sharon:

Been at beach. You're welcome though I doubt I'm much help. I'm guessing the published author sensed there was more (emotion maybe?) "between the lines" that you weren't expressing. Maybe (and really, I'm a poetry idiot) WHY are you writing the poem? It feels declarative to me--are you happy (or the opposite) to announce those things? Or, do you feel like there's someone out there who NEEDS to hear them?

Oh, and bluebird should be written like this, I'm pretty sure8)

And also, in my opinion, those really long lines should be broken up a bit. Wait for confirmation on that though. You know why, right? 'Cause I'm a poetry know-nothing-at-all.

writingdianet

Posts : 23
Join date : 2012-02-21

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Re: I am West Virginia

Post by shaleetoo on Sun Jul 08, 2012 5:19 pm

That's it! You hit the nail on the head! I did not know why I wrote it till you asked me and then it was as clear as can be. I am so proud of West Virginia and I think people need to hear this poem. I want people to realize what a great state this is and that we are resilient, proud, strong and true! I think it is powered by my childhood. My parents were in the group that headed to Ohio for jobs. Where I went to school I was made fun of for my accent and called a stupid Hillbilly. This is my way of saying "You don't know anything about MY state!" You can't possible know how much you have helped me. and I am Happy!

shaleetoo

Posts : 9
Join date : 2012-06-13

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Re: I am West Virginia

Post by writingdianet on Sun Jul 08, 2012 9:31 pm

Awwww:) So glad I helped you out.

Rob Merritt, a frequent presenter at WVWriters annual conference and a college English professor, told me to always ask myself, "Why am I writing this poem?" before I get started. Of course, I haven't written a poem since he told me that, because it's not really my thing, but now this piece of advice is yours too and you can use it whenever you sit down to write a poem:)

writingdianet

Posts : 23
Join date : 2012-02-21

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Re: I am West Virginia

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